In this blog, I want to chat with you about something that has had a profound impact on my life, and I hope can transform yours too: the power of forgiveness. If you’ve ever found yourself dragging the weight of your past behind you, unable to move forward due to past traumas or challenging experiences, then this blog post is for you. I hope it helps you uncover and let go of any hurt, fear and resentment you may be carrying. 

Why it’s important to learn to forgive

Us human beings can have a tendency to cling to negative emotions like resentment, fear, anger and bitterness. It’s rather like we wear them like a badge of honour, proudly proclaiming that “no one has suffered like I have.” How many times have you shared that you’re being challenged or going through a tough time with a friend and had them respond with a similar story all of their own? And perhaps you felt that they were almost proud to share their story with you? 

But I want you to ask yourself – “do I really need to carry these emotions with me forever?” “And, do I want them to define me for the rest of my life?” The honest truth is that we all have to let go of our past to embrace the future. Without letting go of the past you’ll struggle to manifest your dream life and become the person you aspire to be. Plus, you might find you need to forgive yourself, too. 

I know how hard it is to forgive

I know that it’s easy to say, “just let it go”, but it can be quite scary to do. Embracing the power of forgiveness takes bravery. It means you need to face up to and remember all the hurt you’ve experienced, and that can feel traumatic. I’ve been there too. I know how much I struggled to let go of the hurt, resentment, and fear that had once become all too natural for me to tote around with me.

I was bullied by school kids and teachers, repeatedly told I was stupid, useless and an underachiever. I also suffered emotional abuse from my father, experienced the trauma of losing my mother at a young age and went through the pain of losing friends and family members. I’ve been backstabbed, ostracised and had my trust betrayed by so-called friends. I decided I didn’t want all that to define me, so I had to learn to forgive. It was hard but I promise you, it’s a journey that’s worth taking and I don’t regret a moment of it. 

How to forgive yourself and others 

So, how can you begin this transformative process of forgiveness? It starts with making a list of all the people who have hurt you, including yourself. As I mentioned earlier, you must also learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes, regrets, failures and fears. The power of forgiveness begins with you.

Here are some steps to help guide you along this path:

Acknowledge your emotions 

Take some time to sit quietly and recognise the anger and resentment you’re carrying. Understand the hurt and pain it has caused you and identify the fears and self-doubt it has created. Honesty is so important here, and it will feel tough! 

Take time for self-reflection

Take a moment to acknowledge any role you might have played in the situation. Did you allow the behaviour or event to occur, or did you allow it to continue? Understanding the part that you played is really important in the forgiveness process.

Then, empathise and understand

What did you want but you didn’t get in the situation? Can you put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand where they were coming from at that time? This is crucial to forgiving them. Think about what they were trying to achieve and why – even if their reasons were negative! 

Let go, and forgive

This is the most challenging step but the most liberating one. I want you to let go and forgive that person. Repeat to yourself,

“I forgive you, thank you, I am sorry, and I love you.”

These words can be incredibly healing and help you release all the emotions you’ve been holding for so long.

Lessons to take forwards in life

Forgiveness is not a simple or painless journey, and it requires revisiting difficult memories and confronting them head-on. But believe me, it’s worth every ounce of effort that you put into it. When you forgive, you free yourself from the shackles of the past and live in the present. In the present, wonderful things can happen, and you become open to creating a brighter future for yourself, your loved ones and your friends.

Remember, embracing the power of forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It doesn’t condone or excuse the past or how someone else acted or made you feel, but it releases you from its grip and empowers you to build the life you truly desire. So, why not make a pact with me to let go of those heavy emotions and start creating the future you deserve, filled with abundance, happiness, and success. Here’s to a journey of forgiveness and a brighter, more empowered you! You’ve got this, and I’m right here with you every step of the way.