Have you ever heard the saying “what would you do if you knew you could not fail?” If you know that your fears hold you back from working towards your dreams, this could well be a quote that resonates with you. In this blog I’m going to be taking a closer look at limiting beliefs, those negative beliefs, fears and phobias that hold us back, and examining if they can be lifted. Let’s get started with a closer look at what limiting beliefs are.
What is a limiting belief?
Our limiting beliefs are thoughts or mindsets that we believe to our very core to be the truth. They are as personal to us as our fingerprints and feel totally real to us. For example, you might believe that you’re shy, unworthy of success or always unlucky. You might tell yourself and others ‘I’m terrible with money’ or ‘I’m not a very good driver’, or ‘I don’t deserve to earn lots of money, that just doesn’t happen to people like me’. Perhaps your limiting belief is a phobia, such as a fear of balloons, flying or even spiders!
Most people have limiting beliefs and they can have a huge impact on our lives, preventing us from new experiences, limiting the action we take and even influencing the decisions we make. If you keep telling yourself you’re rubbish with money and are always poor, could you be subconsciously saying it’s OK for you to fritter money away on things you don’t really need – leaving you unable to afford bigger, important items. Quite often, limiting beliefs are totally subconscious and completely ingrained in our personality and behaviour. We don’t even know we have them, and it often takes either someone else pointing them out or some soul searching to uncover them!
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
At their very root, our limiting beliefs are linked with our brain’s attempts to protect us from harm. Before we (those of us lucky enough to live in safe countries and with a roof over our heads and food to eat) had such a secure life, there were lots of ways the world could harm a human being – predators, venomous snakes and spiders, poisonous plants, extreme cold or heat, falling out trees or off cliffs, breaking a limb with a misstep out foraging…. The list goes on!
We acquire our limiting beliefs as we get older – after all, a toddler doesn’t refuse to learn to walk in case they fall over – and they can be heavily influenced by the people around us and our experiences. A child might be very happy to swim confidently to a pontoon and back, but perhaps their mother isn’t a confident swimmer and gets nervous, telling them to stay nearby. That child then may believe they can’t swim that far, when in fact they are perfectly capable. Passing comments from parents and other adults can make a real mark and shape how we view ourselves and situations for a long time. A grandparent saying their grandchild is ‘getting ideas above their station’ for wanting to aim high in sport or academia can be very demotivating.
Why are limiting beliefs so powerful?
Over time, our limiting beliefs can become part of our identity as we get older and shape the very way that we view ourselves as adults. They are woven into every story we tell ourselves. Some people might be lucky to meet an inspirational teacher who helps them develop positive beliefs and incredible self-confidence. Or a parent who has recognised the power of limiting beliefs and engenders self-belief instead of self-doubt in their child. But for most of us, until we know better, it’s our limiting beliefs that hold so much power over our decisions and actions. IF you’ve been ‘the shy one’ since you were a child, ask yourself – why? Everyone in the world has the same right to be there, you included, and the same value to add to work, conversations and social occasions!
What can you do about limiting beliefs?
If this blog has resonated with you, you might be wondering how you can rid yourself of your limiting beliefs. Or you might want to uncover any lurkers that you don’t know about! Luckily, there is help at hand. It is possible to reframe or get rid of limiting beliefs, and two of the best tools are neuro linguistic programming (NLP) and hypnotherapy. They can help re-programme those subconscious beliefs, either banishing them entirely or turning what was a negative, limiting belief into an empowering belief instead. Imagine having beliefs that will help you conquer the world instead of hiding away from it?
Overcoming limiting beliefs doesn’t happen overnight and there are some actions you may need to continue with forever, such as journaling and checking in with your mindset. But the most important step is to recognise what life would be like without that negative story, and then taking action to change it. If you would like to chat about how NLP and my coaching can help you, I’d love the chance to help you. Just drop me a line!